What to tell your child when visits with a parent are supervised

When a child’s time with a parent needs to be supervised, it can be hard to know how to explain what’s happening — and why. Whether the visits are in place due to safety concerns, extended time apart, or ongoing conflict between parents, it’s natural to feel unsure about what to say. But with the right language and approach, you can help your child feel calm, safe and supported.

What exactly is professional supervision?

Where there are concerns about family violence, high levels of conflict between parents, around parental capacity, or when a child needs to be reintroduced to a parent, the visits may occur on a professionally supervised basis.

Professional supervision can occur at a professional contact centre, a public location such as a park, local library or shopping centre, or in someone's home. It involves the presence of an independent third party for the entirety of the child's visit with their parent (including during changeover). The professional supervisor will observe the visit, take notes and prepare a report of their observations during the visit. This report will be provided to both parties or their lawyers and can be produced to the Court.

The purpose of professionally supervised time is to enable children to spend time with a parent in a safe manner which protects them from physical, emotional or psychological harm and shields them from any parental conflict. This is underpinned by section 60CC of the Family Law Act 1975 (Cth), which governs how the Court will decide what is in the child's best interests. These factors include considerations such as:

1. what arrangements would promote the safety of the child. This includes how to protect the child from being subject to or exposed to family violence, abuse, neglect or other harm;

2. the capacity of the parent to provide for the child's developmental, psychological, emotional and cultural needs; and/or

3. the benefit of the child being able to have a relationship with their parent, where it is safe to do so.

How do I talk to my children about professional supervision?

It can be difficult to explain to a child, in an age-appropriate manner, why it is that they are seeing their parent in an unfamiliar setting with someone they don’t know present.

Professional supervision can, naturally, cause anxiety for a child if they have previously been exposed to family violence or where significant time has elapsed since they have last seen their parent.

How you speak your child about professional supervision will depend upon the specific circumstances which give rise to the need for professional supervision, and the child's age. However, the following tips may help guide the conversation:

1. use simple and factual words. Explain who they are seeing, where they are seeing them, and at what time;

2. reassure your child that another adult there to ensure that everyone feels safe, happy and that the visit goes smoothly. You might say it’s not because anyone is in trouble, but simply to make sure your child feels comfortable and cared for throughout the visit. Keep the focus on your child’s wellbeing, rather than the other parent;

3. describe the environment as safe and comfortable. It can also be helpful taking the child to the location of the visit beforehand. For example, if the visit is occurring in a local library, you might wish to take your child there a few days before so that when they arrive at the visit, they are in a familiar environment;

4. if your child seeing a psychologist, they can be a valuable support in helping your find the right words and offer tips and insights as to what age-appropriate explanation you can provide to your child in a way that aligns with your child's specific therapeutic needs. Your child's psychologist may also be able to raise the topic of professional supervision during one of their sessions so they can address the conversation in a therapeutic manner.

Our Family & Relationship Law team has extensive experience supporting and advising clients through complex parenting cases, including those involving supervision orders and family violence.

If you require assistance in relation to care arrangements for your children, please do not hesitate to contact our experienced Family and Relationship Law team.